By Patti Pietschmann Travel Diva

What really happens on a cruise doesn’t stay on a cruise


You’ve never been on a cruise but you’re thinking about taking the plunge. But even though you’ve been doing the research you’re still not sure what to expect. Well, let me tell you with tongue in cheek.

Being on a cruise means….

1. The chance to toss coins with wild abandon into unyielding slot machines with the money save for your kids’ education.
2. The ability to put on enough pounds to qualify for admittance into Weight Watchers or become a poster child from Jenny Craig.
3. The opportunity to have photo taken on the day of embarkation by the ship’s photographer that looks worse than you passport picture. They seem to catch you at your jet-lagged worse
4. The capacity to consume more adult beverages than you did in college in a shorter period of time. This especially true when drinks are free on ships such as Seabourn, Silversea, Crystal or Regent Seven Seas. (Or run up one whopping tab when they’re not complimentary).
5. The confidence that you sound better singing in the shower than some of the onboard entertainment (no kidding a few times passengers actually booed the vocalist during a ship show).
6. Self-gratification that you wore at least half of the outfits and shoes stuffed in your steamer trunk. And the ability to disembark with new found knowledge about how to pack next time (lighter than you think)
7. To spend lots of time with your travel companion (partner, friend, relative) in close cabin quarters.
8.  Spending time away from the kids.
9. Ability to test your patience during long lines at the luncheon buffet, shore excursions or embarkations. (Mostly true on mega ships).
10. Testing your will power when confronted with dozens of different desserts during luncheon buffets. And seeing if you can really keep your promise to jog, go to the gym, swim to burn those calories.


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